REVIEW: SCARY MOVIE
THE GIST
The funniest thing about this comedy, is that it’s not funny
THE REVIEW
!!!SPOILERS!!!
EXPECTATIONS
Being the 6th outing in a poorly rated franchise, you would think I wouldn’t expect much. My favourite Scary Movie film was even written and directed by someone else, yet I still had medium to high hopes for this.
Was I being Nostalgia baited? Was I hoping that bringing back the original writers and directors would breathe new fresh life into the Scary Movie franchise and spoof genre as a whole?
Yes to all the above.
RATINGS
Yes the ratings are terrible. All the franchise are rated poorly, they always have been. My favourite is Scary Movie 3 and I couldn’t believe it only had a rating of 5/10.
CONTEXT
At CinemaCon in April 2024, Miramax announced that a new Scary Movie film was in development, with the studio fully financing the project and Neal H. Moritz attached as a producer. In October 2024, it was revealed that the brothers would return as screenwriters and producers, marking their first collaboration in 17 years. Rick Alvarez and Michael Tiddes were hired to co-write and direct, respectively, after collaborating with Marlon in other films. It was produced by Marlon's and Alvarez's Ugly Baby Productions label. Marlon described the film as being a "rebooquel" and additionally cited two factors on the brothers' return to the franchise; the downfall of producers Bob and Harvey Weinstein and words of encouragement from their father, Howell Stouten Wayans prior to his death in 2023. Marlon and his siblings were later contacted by Jonathan Glickman shortly after being named CEO of Miramax and backed the film with a $30 million production budget
THE PLOT
Two friends find themselves caught up in mayhem involving killers, monsters and supernatural creatures once again.
THE EXPERIENCE
I stopped watching.
It really is that bad.
It’s Scary Movie 5 bad.
And that makes me sad.
This comedy makes me sad.
THE MEAT
The Story:
Is different and more serious than the other films. Didn’t expect Teyana Taylor to appear. Then it turns out it was just a movie. It cuts to the real movie which is a Wednesday Addams lookalike called Tuesday. Not very funny.
I was beginning to lose hope about 7mins in and then Regina Hall appears. I love her. The nostalgia bait worked but the comedy still wasn’t there.
Cindy played by Anna Faris (and it’s Ana, not Anna by the way), she has, in the past anyway, always had a knack for these movies. The same knack that Charlie Sheen has, and Leslie Nielsen had. But still nothing funny in sight.
A grown up but still the same Shorty, played by Marlon Wayans shows up. Then Ray, played by Shawn Wayans walks into a church to announce he is no longer gay in an unfunny preacher fashion.
The big four are back. And instead of a comedy, they bought with them a “dialled back to one” spoof film.
A younger generation has also been introduced and I am already hoping they die so this franchise won’t continue on with them.
25mins in. Absolutely no laughs. I want it to end. The deliveries are awful and the script is void of humour.
Doofy appears. Now I really want it to end. This is embarrassing.
I’m sorry but this is a sad state of a film.
I stopped watching.
My Take:
Even though I preferred the Zucker directed Scary Movies, I still liked the Wayan’s brothers ones. And even Zucker’s films declined. Scary Movie 3 was the best. Close behind is Scary Movie 4. But his third film, Scary Movie 5, I just couldn’t watch. And this is the Wayan’s brothers Scary Movie 5.
The Breakdown:
The David Zucker trilogy:
Scary Movie 3 (best one)
Scary Movie 4 (close behind, some say better)
Scary Movie 5 (terrible)
The Wayan’s trilogy:
Scary Movie (best one)
Scary Movie 2 (close behind, some say better)
Scary Movie (6) (terrible)
It’s poetry. It rhymes. It’s just a pity it’s not funny.
SUMMARY
I’m glad the people involved with this film are making a tonne of money.
But I am also glad a cam version on Youtube popped up and I didn’t pay to see this garbage.
